Even they look identical,
They are not the same.
Reminded me of good old times
Chancy
If people could go to heaven after death, what about you?
Chancy, if I would see you anywhere else in the world?
I miss you, we all miss you
2010年12月30日 星期四
Its never the same
Even they look identical,
They are not the same.
Reminded me of good old times
Chancy
If people could go to heaven after death, what about you?
Chancy, if I would see you anywhere else in the world?
I miss you, we all miss you
2010年12月28日 星期二
All that matters
A lot of people told me to "follow my heart" when I cant make a decision.
I heard it again today
I am not sure if I am gona like being who I am if I follow my heart.
If I try to be someone I'd like myself to be, I surely am able to do it.
But it's blue.
Yeah, I would rather step back
I am not losing anything and I am not gaining anything
Like cycling. today I see the very beautiful side of HK, they really made me feel excited
I saw this really extraordinary view, and all I could do was cycling by.
Admiring it.
Yea, what else I can do.
Very rarely, I saw many stars shimmering in Hong Kong
They made me feel particularly lonely today.
I took a deep breath, trying to feel something inside.
searching for that joy I had today.
I heard it again today
I am not sure if I am gona like being who I am if I follow my heart.
If I try to be someone I'd like myself to be, I surely am able to do it.
But it's blue.
Yeah, I would rather step back
I am not losing anything and I am not gaining anything
Like cycling. today I see the very beautiful side of HK, they really made me feel excited
I saw this really extraordinary view, and all I could do was cycling by.
Admiring it.
Yea, what else I can do.
Very rarely, I saw many stars shimmering in Hong Kong
They made me feel particularly lonely today.
I took a deep breath, trying to feel something inside.
searching for that joy I had today.
2010年12月21日 星期二
Gratefulness
Havent felt so grateful to be back in Hong Kong for awhile.
Though, it was kind of unlucky that the flight was cancelled on Sat.
On the other hand, it makes me realise that I am a very fortunate person. With a home in London to go back to when everyone else got stranded. I got someone waiting for me at home- yes, my dear brother.
When I got home that day in the snow, as i dragged my suitcase towards the door-step. My heart was pounding, exhausted after a long day of travelling and waiting.
There he opened the door, with a warm welcoming face. That moment, I think I forgot all the troubles that I had been through. Was lucky to bump into David too at the airport, a friend to keep you company home, I was grateful.
Since been having a really busy time in Bath, home felt extra cosy. That bowl of pasta tasted particularly delicious (when havent had proper food for the day- nothing to do with his cooking to b honest...haha)
Another phone call from Jess.
Surprisingly, didnt feel fustrated at all, but peaceful.
There was no places better than home.
On the next day, things began to worry me, when calling the airline N times with no answers.
I seriously began to feel anxious.
Sitting there waiting for news, refreshing heathrow and CX homepage every now and then. Rarely, I did not appreciate the snow at all. When I see how mum and dad trying every way to sort out the problem, I know I got to be patient. But I guess I didnt sound cheerful at all on skype or phone.
Bro got home that day, bought lots of food for hot pot. He was half joking saying "well we can spend the xmas together having hot-pot everyday if we dont get to go back to HK"
Oh that didnt really make me feeling better to have hot-pot EVERYDAY. But watching him, chopping the veggie up and setting up the table, I felt guilty. Am I spoiled? I began to help out setting things up too. If the flight hasnt been cancelled, I guess I wouldnt have a night like this with him.
I guess I miss him a lot during the term time. It was time to gather myself up to do something productive- i.e. Work? after spending a whole day in bed, waiting for time to tick by.
Was preparing to standby at the airport the next day. Didnt have to since mum managed to do the re-booking. I should enjoy the last day of white christmas. Shame didnt get to catch my st.helen''s girlies but I think I am one of the most fortunate person with all those caring texts.
I truly wish to see them all very soon in 2011.
Finally, get to fly out.
After all that waiting, I can only say I feel grateful.
Grateful to have home with a brother there.
Grateful to have friends and INTERNET
Grateful to have such cool parents
Most importantly, grateful to have God, with me all the time.
Its just grateful to feel grateful.
And now, I am home again in Hong Kong with my be-loved ones.
Ah...Merry Christmas Sharon Sin!!!
Though, it was kind of unlucky that the flight was cancelled on Sat.
On the other hand, it makes me realise that I am a very fortunate person. With a home in London to go back to when everyone else got stranded. I got someone waiting for me at home- yes, my dear brother.
When I got home that day in the snow, as i dragged my suitcase towards the door-step. My heart was pounding, exhausted after a long day of travelling and waiting.
There he opened the door, with a warm welcoming face. That moment, I think I forgot all the troubles that I had been through. Was lucky to bump into David too at the airport, a friend to keep you company home, I was grateful.
Since been having a really busy time in Bath, home felt extra cosy. That bowl of pasta tasted particularly delicious (when havent had proper food for the day- nothing to do with his cooking to b honest...haha)
Another phone call from Jess.
Surprisingly, didnt feel fustrated at all, but peaceful.
There was no places better than home.
On the next day, things began to worry me, when calling the airline N times with no answers.
I seriously began to feel anxious.
Sitting there waiting for news, refreshing heathrow and CX homepage every now and then. Rarely, I did not appreciate the snow at all. When I see how mum and dad trying every way to sort out the problem, I know I got to be patient. But I guess I didnt sound cheerful at all on skype or phone.
Bro got home that day, bought lots of food for hot pot. He was half joking saying "well we can spend the xmas together having hot-pot everyday if we dont get to go back to HK"
Oh that didnt really make me feeling better to have hot-pot EVERYDAY. But watching him, chopping the veggie up and setting up the table, I felt guilty. Am I spoiled? I began to help out setting things up too. If the flight hasnt been cancelled, I guess I wouldnt have a night like this with him.
I guess I miss him a lot during the term time. It was time to gather myself up to do something productive- i.e. Work? after spending a whole day in bed, waiting for time to tick by.
Was preparing to standby at the airport the next day. Didnt have to since mum managed to do the re-booking. I should enjoy the last day of white christmas. Shame didnt get to catch my st.helen''s girlies but I think I am one of the most fortunate person with all those caring texts.
I truly wish to see them all very soon in 2011.
Finally, get to fly out.
After all that waiting, I can only say I feel grateful.
Grateful to have home with a brother there.
Grateful to have friends and INTERNET
Grateful to have such cool parents
Most importantly, grateful to have God, with me all the time.
Its just grateful to feel grateful.
And now, I am home again in Hong Kong with my be-loved ones.
Ah...Merry Christmas Sharon Sin!!!
2010年12月19日 星期日
2010年12月17日 星期五
Waiting. Snow
Finally, Crit is done for the year.
Second year will soon be over, a new chapter shall begin, nightmare of FINDING a placement. hmm should be ok I guess, things usually turn out ok so best to stay positive at this stage and really looking forward to family time in xmas :D
I used to mind about the Crit alot, seriously now thinking back, architecture is a life-long experience, that 20/30mins Crit shouldnt affect my passion at all. In fact, it's good this time they criticise it, making me realise how eager i was to defend my design.
As Dyfed has said 'You dont change your entire design to avoid the problem, you keep it and you deal with it until you find the solution"
I know I have not done well enough, but even I have done better, probably would never have been satisfied. That's why all nighters always happen.
And only through this, I enjoy the freedom more. It't not that you cant have a life being an architectural student, in fact, you feel much more alive after working very hard on something you passionate about, then you treasure that break more than anything else.
That's how i felt then, with Beta and Helen. Sometimes it bothers me that it seems i never had the time to spend with them even simply just for a cup of tea. After spending a whole day together, well probably the best time i had with them during this second year semester.
As, for the last day of semester of 2010, the snow was just extraa prweettty :)
For the first time, holding hands was something I once dreamt of
It was cold and
It was warm.
Ive been subconsciously thinking that I am in deep trouble
as trying as hard as I can to preserve this feeling, to conserve myself away because I simply felt it does not belong to me.
I began to confuse with that voice rising inside me
When I pray, that if it does not belong to me, take my feelings away please
Yet, I started to not behaving like myself. If this feeling is getting deeper, is this my will? or in Christ's will.
You gave me freedom yet I cannot make the decision
Simply because
I am afraid.
If I cant make the decision, I ask God now what do you actually want me to do
If I decide to go for it, I have doubts in myself of how stable I can maintain the relationship with God
But one thing I know is, God you told me to wait, and I know
I am not waiting alone
Second year will soon be over, a new chapter shall begin, nightmare of FINDING a placement. hmm should be ok I guess, things usually turn out ok so best to stay positive at this stage and really looking forward to family time in xmas :D
I used to mind about the Crit alot, seriously now thinking back, architecture is a life-long experience, that 20/30mins Crit shouldnt affect my passion at all. In fact, it's good this time they criticise it, making me realise how eager i was to defend my design.
As Dyfed has said 'You dont change your entire design to avoid the problem, you keep it and you deal with it until you find the solution"
I know I have not done well enough, but even I have done better, probably would never have been satisfied. That's why all nighters always happen.
And only through this, I enjoy the freedom more. It't not that you cant have a life being an architectural student, in fact, you feel much more alive after working very hard on something you passionate about, then you treasure that break more than anything else.
That's how i felt then, with Beta and Helen. Sometimes it bothers me that it seems i never had the time to spend with them even simply just for a cup of tea. After spending a whole day together, well probably the best time i had with them during this second year semester.
As, for the last day of semester of 2010, the snow was just extraa prweettty :)
For the first time, holding hands was something I once dreamt of
It was cold and
It was warm.
Ive been subconsciously thinking that I am in deep trouble
as trying as hard as I can to preserve this feeling, to conserve myself away because I simply felt it does not belong to me.
I began to confuse with that voice rising inside me
When I pray, that if it does not belong to me, take my feelings away please
Yet, I started to not behaving like myself. If this feeling is getting deeper, is this my will? or in Christ's will.
You gave me freedom yet I cannot make the decision
Simply because
I am afraid.
If I cant make the decision, I ask God now what do you actually want me to do
If I decide to go for it, I have doubts in myself of how stable I can maintain the relationship with God
But one thing I know is, God you told me to wait, and I know
I am not waiting alone
2010年12月1日 星期三
a day for 34 hours
It feels quite good to be workaholic, havent had such feelings for a long time
Leaving on Monday morning, closing the front door behind me, thinking in my mind that "I wont be back till I've done some work"
Got a picture in my mind that it would probably either very late at night or the next day.
Funny thing was, Josh said in the studio "wont go home till get some shit done"
When I see other people being so determined, feeling quite motivated too myself, cos I wont be working alone.
Sitting there from 11 in the morning, till the night...struggling through all sorts of ideas and thoughts
coming up with something thats been resolved again and again
In the morning, gathering work, printing stuff off, re-organising the work, feeling rather satisfied and awake than ever.
Tutorials lasted for a day and almost felt like had the longest day ever. At one point my heart was beating so fast that I thought I might collapse any minute, probably due to the caffeine. (not the excitement for tutor's comments)
I learnt one important thing: never drink coffee after having all nighters
On the way home around 5 pm, that felt weird, finally going home! even last year, my home was on campus
32 hours collapsed in bed and had the longest sleep
it felt great.
was once anxious when i felt i lost the passion
but now, I found it back.
Leaving on Monday morning, closing the front door behind me, thinking in my mind that "I wont be back till I've done some work"
Got a picture in my mind that it would probably either very late at night or the next day.
Funny thing was, Josh said in the studio "wont go home till get some shit done"
When I see other people being so determined, feeling quite motivated too myself, cos I wont be working alone.
Sitting there from 11 in the morning, till the night...struggling through all sorts of ideas and thoughts
coming up with something thats been resolved again and again
In the morning, gathering work, printing stuff off, re-organising the work, feeling rather satisfied and awake than ever.
Tutorials lasted for a day and almost felt like had the longest day ever. At one point my heart was beating so fast that I thought I might collapse any minute, probably due to the caffeine. (not the excitement for tutor's comments)
I learnt one important thing: never drink coffee after having all nighters
On the way home around 5 pm, that felt weird, finally going home! even last year, my home was on campus
32 hours collapsed in bed and had the longest sleep
it felt great.
was once anxious when i felt i lost the passion
but now, I found it back.
2010年11月26日 星期五
BCCF worship practice
A warm hearting worship experience with my BCCF group:
Many thanks to Cyrus who brought this touching song up,
Feel the very stong bond and connection, that God makes us unite through music, through brothers and sisters' love.
My prayer:
I once disapproved your love God. I wanted to lead my own way and not realising that you have led me all the way.
I used to live under a lot of constraints, family, study, friendship, past and future...
One day, I experienced what love is, when I see how my brother, bow before you. Selfless love, I know that is what I have been looking for all the way.
I believe in your everlasting love, so I
lay everything down before you now.
Forgive my arrogance, forgive my dishonesty
was once lost and I am found.
You will walk with me until the end of time
Heavenly father, through all these people, you told me what it is to be strong. You reminded me that I am loved too. This is not because of me, it is because of you Lord. You are telling me how much you love me through them. I am sorry I lost faith in you at times.
Being a Christian gives me real freedom, a true vision in how to love someone selflessly.
To me, it is not constraints. All the constraints I had, you embraced it all with your love.
So I just want to say:
"Lord, I offer my Life to you"
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.
P.S: Tracy Shum, you meant a lot to me
You are a true blessing, a gift from God.
You are genuine, you are kind-hearted. My be-loved sister, we will walk together
like that day we held hands and prayed
The tears I shed was not of sorrow, but of joy and gratefulness.
I feel I am alive, for being able to experience everything we have been through together.
and learning to love, to care, to forgive.
SEEC 2011, ga yau!!!!!
P.S2: I am NOT writing chinese again cos you will surely laugh at me again ;p
Many thanks to Cyrus who brought this touching song up,
Feel the very stong bond and connection, that God makes us unite through music, through brothers and sisters' love.
My prayer:
I once disapproved your love God. I wanted to lead my own way and not realising that you have led me all the way.
I used to live under a lot of constraints, family, study, friendship, past and future...
One day, I experienced what love is, when I see how my brother, bow before you. Selfless love, I know that is what I have been looking for all the way.
I believe in your everlasting love, so I
lay everything down before you now.
Forgive my arrogance, forgive my dishonesty
was once lost and I am found.
You will walk with me until the end of time
Heavenly father, through all these people, you told me what it is to be strong. You reminded me that I am loved too. This is not because of me, it is because of you Lord. You are telling me how much you love me through them. I am sorry I lost faith in you at times.
Being a Christian gives me real freedom, a true vision in how to love someone selflessly.
To me, it is not constraints. All the constraints I had, you embraced it all with your love.
So I just want to say:
"Lord, I offer my Life to you"
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.
P.S: Tracy Shum, you meant a lot to me
You are a true blessing, a gift from God.
You are genuine, you are kind-hearted. My be-loved sister, we will walk together
like that day we held hands and prayed
The tears I shed was not of sorrow, but of joy and gratefulness.
I feel I am alive, for being able to experience everything we have been through together.
and learning to love, to care, to forgive.
SEEC 2011, ga yau!!!!!
P.S2: I am NOT writing chinese again cos you will surely laugh at me again ;p
2010年11月25日 星期四
Excuses and Reasons
Sometimes I get confused between "Excuses" or "Reasons"
Most of the time, I have a lot of reasons behind the decisions made.
At times, I made a lot of excuses for myself too.
If I have to describe that particular moment of the day, it would be 心力交碎
The awkwardness is uncomforting.
If I could, I wish I could swim all day long, not having to hear all those things undesirable.
Not having to see things that I dont even wana have a glance upon.
Today reminds me of one of those days, where I would probably stuck my head into the sinkful of water, cried as crazy as I wanted to and not having to feel those tears streaming down the face.
There are words I cannot express it out.
Gratefully, the joyful moment of sharing the cake with Helen and Elisabeta really had brightened up my day.
Surely, that encouraging text really meant a lot to me.
I never really expected any rewards
The worship practices also meant a lot to me today
Seeing the brothers and sisters, i could always put those feelings away, when we can focus to sing and praise God together.
In a lot of way, God, I thank you, today, for saving me, at least twice.
I am not even gona shed a drop of tear, it simply does not worth it.
Most of the time, I have a lot of reasons behind the decisions made.
At times, I made a lot of excuses for myself too.
If I have to describe that particular moment of the day, it would be 心力交碎
The awkwardness is uncomforting.
If I could, I wish I could swim all day long, not having to hear all those things undesirable.
Not having to see things that I dont even wana have a glance upon.
Today reminds me of one of those days, where I would probably stuck my head into the sinkful of water, cried as crazy as I wanted to and not having to feel those tears streaming down the face.
There are words I cannot express it out.
Gratefully, the joyful moment of sharing the cake with Helen and Elisabeta really had brightened up my day.
Surely, that encouraging text really meant a lot to me.
I never really expected any rewards
The worship practices also meant a lot to me today
Seeing the brothers and sisters, i could always put those feelings away, when we can focus to sing and praise God together.
In a lot of way, God, I thank you, today, for saving me, at least twice.
I am not even gona shed a drop of tear, it simply does not worth it.
2010年11月15日 星期一
2010年11月8日 星期一
Dedicated to my dear friend
I once thought friends are ones you hang out with, having fun with etc
But there is a difference, between a buddy and a friend.
Even though, I thought I am cold hearted at most times, I am confident in controlling my feelings.
I have been thinking about you the whole day my friend.
The word 'sorry' has cut my heart too, when I know I couldnt be physically there for you.
I should be saying sorry.
I could have stopped the pain you are going through right now but I hadnt.
My friend I hope you will stop shedding your precious tears because it's a pain not seeing you crying when I know you are
crying alone.
I am here waiting, whenever you need me, I will be here.
It's painful as I know I havent been through your pain,
It's painful when I know I couldnt physically understand how painful you are.
It's painful seeing you, being not like you.
My dear friend,
let God heal your wounds, you are holding on to your memories because you dont want to let go of it. It is hard to, you not letting go because admitt it, you love him.
Those memories were too short and sweet, and you would rather live in those memories than being in the present?
what could I possibly do, to share even just 1% of your pain?
What can I do to make you smile like an angel like you always do?
I dont want to be upset because I know you dont want to get people involved.
But allow me, my friend, because in this way I could feel I am connected to you.
But there is a difference, between a buddy and a friend.
Even though, I thought I am cold hearted at most times, I am confident in controlling my feelings.
I have been thinking about you the whole day my friend.
The word 'sorry' has cut my heart too, when I know I couldnt be physically there for you.
I should be saying sorry.
I could have stopped the pain you are going through right now but I hadnt.
My friend I hope you will stop shedding your precious tears because it's a pain not seeing you crying when I know you are
crying alone.
I am here waiting, whenever you need me, I will be here.
It's painful as I know I havent been through your pain,
It's painful when I know I couldnt physically understand how painful you are.
It's painful seeing you, being not like you.
My dear friend,
let God heal your wounds, you are holding on to your memories because you dont want to let go of it. It is hard to, you not letting go because admitt it, you love him.
Those memories were too short and sweet, and you would rather live in those memories than being in the present?
what could I possibly do, to share even just 1% of your pain?
What can I do to make you smile like an angel like you always do?
I dont want to be upset because I know you dont want to get people involved.
But allow me, my friend, because in this way I could feel I am connected to you.
2010年11月1日 星期一
2010年10月22日 星期五
2010年10月16日 星期六
2010年10月12日 星期二
2010年10月5日 星期二
Missing out.
Trying hard to treasure those around me
How weird that I seemed to have missed out treasuring those who cares about me most.
My parents are a set of good examples.
How weird that I seemed to have missed out treasuring those who cares about me most.
My parents are a set of good examples.
2010年9月28日 星期二
Admitt
I have never been in a proper relationship.
I dont dare to say I know what it feels like to be heart broken.
Yet, it hurts, over 3 years, my focus had always been on you.
People said everyone has rights to "like" someone.
I did not feel I have the right to make a love confession, because I have hurt someone with a selfish heart.
Because, I dont trust myself.
What if this isnt real? What if this is just an illusion.
I held myself back for a few years and came to this point, tired.
I dont want to follow it any more
I hated myself so much that I could almost tear myself into pieces.
I heard a voice, the good news is God loves me.
I dont care what people are saying any more, can there be any other greater Love than this?
Knowing that I should love God more than anyone,
I simply not trying hard enough.
I dont dare to say I know what it feels like to be heart broken.
Yet, it hurts, over 3 years, my focus had always been on you.
People said everyone has rights to "like" someone.
I did not feel I have the right to make a love confession, because I have hurt someone with a selfish heart.
Because, I dont trust myself.
What if this isnt real? What if this is just an illusion.
I held myself back for a few years and came to this point, tired.
I dont want to follow it any more
I hated myself so much that I could almost tear myself into pieces.
I heard a voice, the good news is God loves me.
I dont care what people are saying any more, can there be any other greater Love than this?
Knowing that I should love God more than anyone,
I simply not trying hard enough.
2010年9月25日 星期六
What "waiting" has brought me
I would say I am a totally impatient person,
Yet, I recently realised that.. I am actually quite good at waiting.
Particularly, waiting for people's reply.
I waited, and waited again
Sometimes, this brought me disappointment
That empty feeling of refreshing the inbox continuously.
Sometimes, that delightful moment conquered any "emptiness"
after waiting a pretty long 3 or 4 weeks, a couple of sentences would warm up my heart.
I feel guilty.
I did not pretend that God's word has fulfilled my heart, it did, many times
However, I seek for more.
Now after waiting for so long, a chance of meeting him is coming close.
But I am letting it go
simply because "waiting" has already been a habit
The fact of not having to wait makes me anxious.
Very anxious.
Yet, I recently realised that.. I am actually quite good at waiting.
Particularly, waiting for people's reply.
I waited, and waited again
Sometimes, this brought me disappointment
That empty feeling of refreshing the inbox continuously.
Sometimes, that delightful moment conquered any "emptiness"
after waiting a pretty long 3 or 4 weeks, a couple of sentences would warm up my heart.
I feel guilty.
I did not pretend that God's word has fulfilled my heart, it did, many times
However, I seek for more.
Now after waiting for so long, a chance of meeting him is coming close.
But I am letting it go
simply because "waiting" has already been a habit
The fact of not having to wait makes me anxious.
Very anxious.
2010年9月20日 星期一
Out of control
Quoted from Uncle Brian "心越想保護一樣東西，就越辦不到 . 其中，愛情就是一個經典例"
I guess, because all humans are weak, vulnerable- so we cannot protect anything by ourselves.
Most of the time, I thought I could be tough enough to do everything on my own, neglecting fear, hesitation
Just GO GO GO all the time
but I didnt really get to anywhere.
I guess, because all humans are weak, vulnerable- so we cannot protect anything by ourselves.
Most of the time, I thought I could be tough enough to do everything on my own, neglecting fear, hesitation
Just GO GO GO all the time
but I didnt really get to anywhere.
2010年9月19日 星期日
Creator vs Master
"Life is meaningful" - Theme for the welcoming event of BCCF 2010
Tracy and I came up with the idea of " life is only meaningful when we know who our creator is"
Today, I get to experienced such idea.
The sermon today was on John Gospel: that we have to remain in Jesus in order to gain fruitful life.
Definitely not my first time of hearing the story, but could feel the strong connection to our drama script.
When the two wind-up toys- created: one forgetting her purpose of life, forgetting her identity- relationship with "Papa"
I am glad to be back in England because the environment would really drag me to God closer, much more powerful than being in an urban city because there is private time, and be with the natures.
I havent been able to "appreciate" what God has created for us, the sky, the trees, rocks etc
After a long summer in Hong Kong, I seemed to have forgotten about the "creator", target is lost...and not sure where I am heading to from time to time.
He gave me the opportunity to serve people at the O-camp in HK.
Having taken a lot of photographs, being able to review the good times...
I realised...i was hardly in any of the pictures
At once, I felt abit lonely...perhaps,
left out.
And then, something touching happened
Some people, wrote some lovely comments, no matter just a simple word of "thank you", or "like' my photos
People are aware of me..well at least someone did appreciate my work.
Somehow, not trying to rate myself as God metaphorically,
However, no one can deny the fact that I was with them all the way where the pictures were taken.
We could not see God, but doesnt mean he is not with us.
and, when people are aware of me, I felt grateful that this reminds me the position of God.
Allowing me to be aware of his existence, the great creator of all
Behind every picture, there is a great master, the director.
Hmm, though I am a long way from being 'great'
Tracy and I came up with the idea of " life is only meaningful when we know who our creator is"
Today, I get to experienced such idea.
The sermon today was on John Gospel: that we have to remain in Jesus in order to gain fruitful life.
Definitely not my first time of hearing the story, but could feel the strong connection to our drama script.
When the two wind-up toys- created: one forgetting her purpose of life, forgetting her identity- relationship with "Papa"
I am glad to be back in England because the environment would really drag me to God closer, much more powerful than being in an urban city because there is private time, and be with the natures.
I havent been able to "appreciate" what God has created for us, the sky, the trees, rocks etc
After a long summer in Hong Kong, I seemed to have forgotten about the "creator", target is lost...and not sure where I am heading to from time to time.
He gave me the opportunity to serve people at the O-camp in HK.
Having taken a lot of photographs, being able to review the good times...
I realised...i was hardly in any of the pictures
At once, I felt abit lonely...perhaps,
left out.
And then, something touching happened
Some people, wrote some lovely comments, no matter just a simple word of "thank you", or "like' my photos
People are aware of me..well at least someone did appreciate my work.
Somehow, not trying to rate myself as God metaphorically,
However, no one can deny the fact that I was with them all the way where the pictures were taken.
We could not see God, but doesnt mean he is not with us.
and, when people are aware of me, I felt grateful that this reminds me the position of God.
Allowing me to be aware of his existence, the great creator of all
Behind every picture, there is a great master, the director.
Hmm, though I am a long way from being 'great'
2010年9月18日 星期六
A Casa
Feels so great to be home :)
Not having to worry about anything
"shelter"- lying on my bed, seeing the beaming sunlight filtering through
Not tense at all
Indeed, architecture could embrace people, providing what they need, protecting them
I did not get it though, until I get to know God, through my dearest people
There is no proper shelters in the world, It is impossible to prevent/predict any sudden disaster
"Shelter" is God
She told me how she witnessed people, smiling, being hopeful even they lose their home.
I am grateful that I do not have to go through such pain so far in my life
But grace comes from God,
I once felt very distant, suspicious if he actually could hear my prayer.
Giving up architecture, taking up some "nice and easy" routes
Because I did not want to face the coming stress.
But he is the real architect who embraces people's heart.
If I can make a decision now,
I want to be an architect, not just embracing people within buildings, but trying to embrace their heart too.
which....is a life lasting lesson
Not having to worry about anything
"shelter"- lying on my bed, seeing the beaming sunlight filtering through
Not tense at all
Indeed, architecture could embrace people, providing what they need, protecting them
I did not get it though, until I get to know God, through my dearest people
There is no proper shelters in the world, It is impossible to prevent/predict any sudden disaster
"Shelter" is God
She told me how she witnessed people, smiling, being hopeful even they lose their home.
I am grateful that I do not have to go through such pain so far in my life
But grace comes from God,
I once felt very distant, suspicious if he actually could hear my prayer.
Giving up architecture, taking up some "nice and easy" routes
Because I did not want to face the coming stress.
But he is the real architect who embraces people's heart.
If I can make a decision now,
I want to be an architect, not just embracing people within buildings, but trying to embrace their heart too.
which....is a life lasting lesson
2010年9月13日 星期一
Regretful farewell
Message dedicated to Miranda Szeto
Miranda Szeto,
Still remembering meeting her at first sight,
The atmosphere around her seemed air-tight
That interview, I would say, didnt go awful.
I could not dare take my eyes off from hers because
she has such overwhelming power when she speaks.
At the beginning, she never really had a glance at me
I felt so small within this PAD department, this whole company.
Trying harder and harder,
She really offered me opportunities.
It's not that she never looked at me,
The truth is I always avoided her.
Not until, one day I heard her complimented my performance in front of my supervisor.
She wanted me to extend my work period,
I thought "perhaps, she needed me"
From then I began to look at her directly in the eyes whenever I get a chance to.
At first pretending, and then getting used to talk to her confidently.
She has taught me the attitude towards work.
First impression: pony tail, neat, smile, simplicity, confidence
That is all I need.
Her reference letter is one of my key encouraging documents apart from the bible.
I always looked forward to see her again
I applied the same company again this year but to a different department.
I was just about to ready, to tell her the good news
However, it was all of a sudden.
Passed away because of cancer, the most painful one
That regretful pain,
I did not forget, until now.
She perhaps, not yet a proper friend
Somehow, in my life so far, she played an important role
I worked hard
I thought she could see me growing into a woman like her (or be better than her)
Was all too late
I never really expected such short noticed farewell
I wish I could see her again
If there would be another boss like her
so thoughtful, so kind, so tough
I miss her
I guess, no one would like this feeling, of being "left behind"
Exactly how I felt, right at this moment.
But she is really one of the nicest person I have ever seen...
She is gone.
Forever
Miranda Szeto,
Still remembering meeting her at first sight,
The atmosphere around her seemed air-tight
That interview, I would say, didnt go awful.
I could not dare take my eyes off from hers because
she has such overwhelming power when she speaks.
At the beginning, she never really had a glance at me
I felt so small within this PAD department, this whole company.
Trying harder and harder,
She really offered me opportunities.
It's not that she never looked at me,
The truth is I always avoided her.
Not until, one day I heard her complimented my performance in front of my supervisor.
She wanted me to extend my work period,
I thought "perhaps, she needed me"
From then I began to look at her directly in the eyes whenever I get a chance to.
At first pretending, and then getting used to talk to her confidently.
She has taught me the attitude towards work.
First impression: pony tail, neat, smile, simplicity, confidence
That is all I need.
Her reference letter is one of my key encouraging documents apart from the bible.
I always looked forward to see her again
I applied the same company again this year but to a different department.
I was just about to ready, to tell her the good news
However, it was all of a sudden.
Passed away because of cancer, the most painful one
That regretful pain,
I did not forget, until now.
She perhaps, not yet a proper friend
Somehow, in my life so far, she played an important role
I worked hard
I thought she could see me growing into a woman like her (or be better than her)
Was all too late
I never really expected such short noticed farewell
I wish I could see her again
If there would be another boss like her
so thoughtful, so kind, so tough
I miss her
I guess, no one would like this feeling, of being "left behind"
Exactly how I felt, right at this moment.
But she is really one of the nicest person I have ever seen...
She is gone.
Forever
Observer
Today was helping out and mum's shop.
As usual, time ticking away,
As expected, not many people.
Suddenly, a guy came in
Wearing a black T-shirt, looking like any guy you can find on the street...
I thought he came in to sell things, or...giving out leaflets
He simply pointed at the bag by the display window,
I nodded.
My mum knows who he is.
He came before, with a girl.
I began to write his bill
He asked "You normally close the shop on Sunday?
I looked up
Conversation continues:
"Where do you work?"
"Tsim Sha Tsui"
"You came all the way from Tsim Sha Tsui?"
"No, it's my day off. I live in Yuen Long"
I smiled secretly.
"For your girlfriend?"
"Yes, was going to get this for her birthday, but now for her work"
I saw my mum, wrapping up the bag nicely for him
I handed in the bill with both hands, he smiled and took the bag from my mum.
Walking out of the shop promptly.
I looked out at the window, watching his back disappearing in a distance.
As an observer, I cant help, but feeling envious for the first time for that girl.
As usual, time ticking away,
As expected, not many people.
Suddenly, a guy came in
Wearing a black T-shirt, looking like any guy you can find on the street...
I thought he came in to sell things, or...giving out leaflets
He simply pointed at the bag by the display window,
I nodded.
My mum knows who he is.
He came before, with a girl.
I began to write his bill
He asked "You normally close the shop on Sunday?
I looked up
Conversation continues:
"Where do you work?"
"Tsim Sha Tsui"
"You came all the way from Tsim Sha Tsui?"
"No, it's my day off. I live in Yuen Long"
I smiled secretly.
"For your girlfriend?"
"Yes, was going to get this for her birthday, but now for her work"
I saw my mum, wrapping up the bag nicely for him
I handed in the bill with both hands, he smiled and took the bag from my mum.
Walking out of the shop promptly.
I looked out at the window, watching his back disappearing in a distance.
As an observer, I cant help, but feeling envious for the first time for that girl.
Las cosas que no sabes
The things you dont know
"'What' and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening
as words come. But put
them together side-by-side and they
have the power to haunt you for the
rest of your life: ‘What if?...
Indeed, these words have been haunting me for years.
I pray that I will be given the strength
When I want to forget about you, I thought of you.
When I thought of you, I miss everything about you
and
I do because you dont know anything about this.
It's a contradiction,
of following God's will,
and my heart....
I begin to question myself,
Am I really a Christian?
I thought I have been walking with God all the way long,
I did, but I look at else where...seeking for "what if".
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