Its never the same

Even they look identical,
They are not the same.

Reminded me of good old times
Chancy

If people could go to heaven after death, what about you?
Chancy, if I would see you anywhere else in the world?

I miss you, we all miss you

All that matters

A lot of people told me to "follow my heart" when I cant make a decision.

I heard it again today

I am not sure if I am gona like being who I am if I follow my heart.

If I try to be someone I'd like myself to be, I surely am able to do it.

But it's blue.

Yeah, I would rather step back

I am not losing anything and I am not gaining anything

Like cycling. today I see the very beautiful side of HK, they really made me feel excited
I saw this really extraordinary view, and all I could do was cycling by.

Admiring it.
Yea, what else I can do.

Very rarely, I saw many stars shimmering in Hong Kong
They made me feel particularly lonely today.

I took a deep breath, trying to feel something inside.

searching for that joy I had today.

Gratefulness

Havent felt so grateful to be back in Hong Kong for awhile.
Though, it was kind of unlucky that the flight was cancelled on Sat.

On the other hand, it makes me realise that I am a very fortunate person. With a home in London to go back to when everyone else got stranded. I got someone waiting for me at home- yes, my dear brother.

When I got home that day in the snow, as i dragged my suitcase towards the door-step. My heart was pounding, exhausted after a long day of travelling and waiting.

There he opened the door, with a warm welcoming face. That moment, I think I forgot all the troubles that I had been through. Was lucky to bump into David too at the airport, a friend to keep you company home, I was grateful.

Since been having a really busy time in Bath, home felt extra cosy. That bowl of pasta tasted particularly delicious (when havent had proper food for the day- nothing to do with his cooking to b honest...haha)

Another phone call from Jess.
Surprisingly, didnt feel fustrated at all, but peaceful.
There was no places better than home.

On the next day, things began to worry me, when calling the airline N times with no answers.
I seriously began to feel anxious.
Sitting there waiting for news, refreshing heathrow and CX homepage every now and then. Rarely, I did not appreciate the snow at all. When I see how mum and dad trying every way to sort out the problem, I know I got to be patient. But I guess I didnt sound cheerful at all on skype or phone.

Bro got home that day, bought lots of food for hot pot. He was half joking saying "well we can spend the xmas together having hot-pot everyday if we dont get to go back to HK"

Oh that didnt really make me feeling better to have hot-pot EVERYDAY. But watching him, chopping the veggie up and setting up the table, I felt guilty. Am I spoiled? I began to help out setting things up too. If the flight hasnt been cancelled, I guess I wouldnt have a night like this with him.

I guess I miss him a lot during the term time. It was time to gather myself up to do something productive- i.e. Work? after spending a whole day in bed, waiting for time to tick by.

Was preparing to standby at the airport the next day. Didnt have to since mum managed to do the re-booking. I should enjoy the last day of white christmas. Shame didnt get to catch my st.helen''s girlies but I think I am one of the most fortunate person with all those caring texts.
I truly wish to see them all very soon in 2011.

Finally, get to fly out.
After all that waiting, I can only say I feel grateful.
Grateful to have home with a brother there.
Grateful to have friends and INTERNET
Grateful to have such cool parents

Most importantly, grateful to have God, with me all the time.
Its just grateful to feel grateful.

And now, I am home again in Hong Kong with my be-loved ones.

Ah...Merry Christmas Sharon Sin!!!

Got to cheer up

Really got to cheer up!!!

Waiting. Snow

Finally, Crit is done for the year.
Second year will soon be over, a new chapter shall begin, nightmare of FINDING a placement. hmm should be ok I guess, things usually turn out ok so best to stay positive at this stage and really looking forward to family time in xmas :D

I used to mind about the Crit alot, seriously now thinking back, architecture is a life-long experience, that 20/30mins Crit shouldnt affect my passion at all. In fact, it's good this time they criticise it, making me realise how  eager i was to defend my design.

As Dyfed has said 'You dont change your entire design to avoid the problem, you keep it and you deal with it until you find the solution"

I know I have not done well enough, but even I have done better, probably would never have been satisfied. That's why all nighters always happen.

And only through this, I enjoy the freedom more. It't not that you cant have a life being an architectural student, in fact, you feel much more alive after working very hard on something you passionate about, then you treasure that break more than anything else.

That's how i felt then, with Beta and Helen. Sometimes it bothers me that it seems i never had the time to spend with them even simply just for a cup of tea. After spending a whole day together, well probably the best time i had with them during this second year semester.

As, for the last day of semester of 2010, the snow was just extraa prweettty :)
For the first time, holding hands was something I once dreamt of
It was cold and
It was warm.

Ive been subconsciously thinking that I am in deep trouble
as trying as hard as I can to preserve this feeling, to conserve myself away because I simply felt it does not belong to me.

I began to confuse with that voice rising inside me
When I pray, that if it does not belong to me, take my feelings away please
Yet, I started to not behaving like myself. If this feeling is getting deeper, is this my will? or in Christ's will.

You gave me freedom yet I cannot make the decision

Simply because

I am afraid.

If I cant make the decision, I ask God now what do you actually want me to do
If I decide to go for it, I have doubts in myself of how stable I can maintain the relationship with God

But one thing I know is, God you told me to wait, and I know

I am not waiting alone

a day for 34 hours

It feels quite good to be workaholic, havent had such feelings for a long time

Leaving on Monday morning, closing the front door behind me, thinking in my mind that "I wont be back till I've done some work"

Got a picture in my mind that it would probably either very late at night or the next day.

Funny thing was, Josh said in the studio "wont go home till get some shit done"
When I see other people being so determined, feeling quite motivated too myself, cos I wont be working alone.

Sitting there from 11 in the morning, till the night...struggling through all sorts of ideas and thoughts
coming up with something thats been resolved again and again

In the morning, gathering work, printing stuff off, re-organising the work, feeling rather satisfied and awake than ever.

Tutorials lasted for a day and almost felt like had the longest day ever. At one point my heart was beating so fast that I thought I might collapse any minute, probably due to the caffeine. (not the excitement for tutor's comments)

I learnt one important thing: never drink coffee after having all nighters

On the way home around 5 pm, that felt weird, finally going home! even last year, my home was on campus
32 hours collapsed in bed and had the longest sleep

it felt great.

was once anxious when i felt i lost the passion

but now, I found it back.