What "waiting" has brought me

I would say I am a totally impatient person,
Yet, I recently realised that.. I am actually quite good at waiting.

Particularly, waiting for people's reply.
I waited, and waited again

Sometimes, this brought me disappointment
That empty feeling of refreshing the inbox continuously.

Sometimes, that delightful moment conquered any "emptiness"
after waiting a pretty long 3 or 4 weeks, a couple of sentences would warm up my heart.

I feel guilty.
I did not pretend that God's word has fulfilled my heart, it did, many times
However, I seek for more.

Now after waiting for so long, a chance of meeting him is coming close.
But I am letting it go
simply because "waiting" has already been a habit

The fact of not having to wait makes me anxious.
Very anxious.