Love heals everything, Jesus is Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLNL49TFC_8&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=badS4YnRwkE&feature=related

When truth hurts, would people choose to hear it? Even I think the truth wouldnt change my decision, today I made my choice.


I have never been so afraid of hearing truth, possibly the closest feeling I had was when my brother called to tell me about the death of Grandma. But that was rather more unexpected.

This time, I think I knew it. I wasnt entirely sure if I would like to hear.
Foolish perhaps if it meant to ease one's guilt, I was afraid to get hurt
I prayed over and over again, asking for courage. I didnt have the courage to believe in people, yet I had it today to hear the truth.

That feeling was not what I expected. I thought of all possibilities
I could cry out loud/screaming and looking ridiculous.
Or I am aiming, to be cool and act as if it does not affect me. Mature and calm.

But none of those happened.
I was speechless. I wanted to speak but my muscles seemed to be unable to project my voice out. There were so many thoughts occuring at the same time in my brain which I could not register.

Sadness? Anger? Fear?
I didnt know how long I sat there for.

All I could feel was sadness, as I know it wont be the same anymore
I think of what was happening a few weeks ago, and where I was sitting, why I was there

Everything seemed to have messed up
It was not fair, was I jealous? was I disappointed?
Time paused. I tried my very best, then I asked God, why is this happening?

Why is it ME? Where is God? I was walking with you, I always have faith in you, and that moment
things that happpened nearly could smash all that up

I lost all energies, never felt like this in my life when I thought I am a tough one.
I wish I could rely, or even open up to someone one day

But no.

After awhile, I could hear him speak, he said, "be strong, be the Sharon as you have always been"

I finally, cried. asking back Where are you lord?
Why throwing all these at me

and miraculously, in my mind I know one thing very clear.
Hard to believe I could hear such clear thoughts when I was in that mess

God wont throw difficulties at you when he knows you cant take it
So at that moment, I was sure, I can be strong

I started talking again, gathering, sorting out thoughts
I had the courage to look into his eyes

That moment, I know, forgiveness is possible.
If I need something really bad and seek for forgiveness, I know how badly I wanted to be forgiven.
And God accepted me.

So this time, I know I should do the same. It was easier than I thought.
When I was in deep anger last night, today it diminished straight away.
Rather, it was love.
God's love took away my sadness, reminded me and he responded to my prayer.
Because he did, I could forgive, and share that love with him again, as pure friends.
Everything was totally unexpected.

I didnt need a lot of cheering up from anyone, apart from Jessica.
Because God gave me the courage to face and to hear the truth.
To accept it with a peaceful heart (well it wasnt at all to begin with)

Everything I have been through, use all of these for your glory lord.
Because of you, I am still able to forgive, to love and to give thanks.
I am hoping, if you are reading this

you will one day, share this amazing grace, and love with me, with all brothers and sisters in fellowship or anywhere else in the world

that true love is really an amazing things

Though I have not yet found my Issac to share with me
but I know, everything is planned.

I truly wish, you one day, put down your pride, for our dear father can take away your loneliness, your emptiness, your fear, your weakness

He embraces all, every sins, he would forgive
This is the right path, and the only way to find God because he is Love.

I would never forget today

God he made everything right, he fixed things
the full stop of today, is finished with Love, thankfulness, grace

not tears (we had enough already today) but a smile