At certain times, I don't see any hope or faith in this relationship

It's a lot of stress and worries that you don't understand

We treasure different things in life leads to at the end of the day we will go in separate ways

Now it's just the matter of time

It's frustration when i know this separation

I can't share joy and peace that I gained from serving other
It could be double the joy when you could get it too

But at the end of the day,this feeling of separation halve the joy I had

Cos I couldn't share this with you

Even though u were meant to be the
Close one to me

after tonight, I will not let myself to cry again over this

it's enough of meaningless tears, misunderstanding, disappointment.

let it all end

so I can be back to where I was

I guess all people want to be loved and know that they are wanted.

Just at this age, we are too up for ourselves, chasing for our career desire more than anything else.
We are not ready to look out for each other, Not ready to take care another's feeling.

nothing felt right

I should know from the beginning.

when you would rather print your own company brochure than walking home with me from work when I was ill

when you were furious with me and left me vomiting by the pier

when you made me waited for countless time because of your poor time management

Yet, I wanted to believe, because at those times I felt I was deeply loved by you.
When you would do silly voice recording and walking me home and late night even though you catching the last train back to bath

yes, a guy would do anything for a girl when they are not together

and once together, I feel I am nothing more important when you could delay your promise all the time and promised you would change for better.

at my 21st birthday, you promised me you would do better

better organisation

it's co-incidence then, that you didnt have time to prepare anything
 co-incidence that you had to work all xmas and turned out you didnt do much at singapore

december anniversay, you promised you would make changes and asked me to wait

xmas eve, you said similar things

even just before i left bath, you said wait till your exams all finished

now everything is "finished", all you said is you promise you will do better

nothing is ever finished. I told you from the start.

Summer, wait till your summer internship finish
Birthday wait till your friends are gone
Semester 1, wait till your crit is over, wait till your deadline is over
Now, wait till your job searching is over,

Now, I tell you wait till this relationship is over

You dont have to do anything for me, ever again

Thanks for all you did in the past

May be there are other girls who are more suitable
for you

who can fully accept what you did, can accept how messy you are and dont give a shit
so you guys can be messy together since you said no matter what effort I put into organising your room it doesnt affect you. Yes, what maid does doesnt affect you.

Only I think if i ever help others to do such thing, they would appreciate more than you do

I had enough of all these

Time changed,people changed

That's all

‎"Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny! What we think we become"


"If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman."


You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it


its a marathon where I dont know where the finish line is

New year resolution

I have one main resolution this year
I have to sort out this feeling...Need to pray hard for God to give me strength for forgiveness.

Even though it hurts if the picture of that person pops up, I need to forgive, I dont know how to forget something so easily

but it's time to face it up and stop mourning and let this feeling haunt me for the rest of my life and affecting my relationship.

so...everytime if I am tempted to look up something I should never see again, I shall pray to Father, to keep myself away

Tough time is when one feel unsupported

Answer doesn't come instantly when I asked for it

Perhaps,even when one tells you he or she could do anything for you

I never trust those words

Humans like us, are weak when facing our environment

One could probably never understands if they never got let down by someone they trust

After these months,I understand why we ought to learn how to forgive

Those who can truly forgive are probably those who understands human's weakness

Pride, selfishness

I tried to forgive and got tired
What let this relationship happens is because of his love at presence

And I love him
Too

Yet it's so hard to say so because I know it hurts so badly when one told you they love you and then did something probs put of their control
To hurt u

If I hurt you one day then these words would become lies

I know myself nowadays that I am also a selfish person
I wasn't afraid of getting hurt because I have strong faith in my heart

Now I am afraid, terribly afraid of putting something above my priortu

Never to expect someone for u at anytime
Because it doesn't happen in reality

But I know God is
He is real

Today again
Incredibly feeling insecure

Regretted for spitting out bitter words to make myself feel better

Each time
When I am
Doing this

The inside of me seemed to lead me on to say more to destroy this relationship

I wanted to go back to the old days

The old self seemed to be stronger than I am now

I don't think I am doing fine


Feeling regretted to spit bitter words to make myself feel better


I feel regretted
The inside me seemed to lead me on to destroy this relationship

It's tough times to think I am alone

As time goes on,it gets bitter and bitter

The problem is as time goes on I began to carry this out all alone
At the beginning
I know how to share the load with God

And don't know since when
I began to do this all alone an think I can do better
Unconsciously thinking I could handle this and I can share 'other' things with him

Forgotten He is part of my life

I thought I could do this

And realized there's only so little one can do
I thought I could be tough

When I look at this relationship, how much more
Harm can I do to it?

Sometimes it almost feels like the end of it

I realized my love is conditional
And not a good example of His greatest love

When seeing the limit and the end of human's conditional love
Made me
Once again look upon His unconditional love

Our concept puts us to think that we need to have sometime to trade for love
To get in position to beloved

I am so stupid

I have accepted the greatest gift already
The greatest love of all

In days to come I got
To remind myself every so often when I started to feel weak

To remind myself once again
Who gave up His precious life for me so that however awful I feel
There is still faith hope

And love




I probably can understand

What makes me uncomfortable is knowing what he's been through but I haven't

Yet I always thought till this point,I am the only one who is still trapped

The truth is it's not just about understanding weakness
It's about forgiving even u don't understand

I tried and I get tired
Because knowing someone u love who once seemed didn't love you
Is a horrible feeling

It's might be easier to move on without this feeling

Yet what let this happens is because his love at presence

And I love him
Too

But I fear to say this out often
C

sensitive

it's a sensitive timing,

sensitive place

Sensitive old passages of blogs

I dislike that place
I dislike the smell,the touch everything

I dislike Cheung jau,
I dislike central that closed bar

I dislike empty words

I dislike you pulling me to the place that left me a huge scar in my life
If taking me back to that place is for your convenience,for u to work smoothly

I don't know anymore what I mean to you

You said you care about all sort of little things

I am sorry

You don't know me,you just don't
Perhaps now,you won't even remember te existence of this blog

You aren't the you in march.


We both changed

Not sure,

If

For good