focus

focusing on the others made time flies faster

made me less focus on my own things
made me less concerned

is this why i like focusing on other people just hoping time goes a little faster so i dont have to spend too much energy to think about my own matter?
it's exhausting and painful to look at my own things

perhaps helping the others made myself see my own values more
and this is the way ive been living till now.

each words of anger  are like sharp spikes,
love is not like this isnt it?

out accusing each other, to bring sense of victory and satisfications
and ending up with wounds that are still bleeding.

is it me who doesnt want to be healed? so I dont deserved to be healed?
When I truly pray to be healed, why do I still feel the pain and anger inside me?

if other people can get my focus away and let time goes a little faster, to me, my life is a little easier.