Back to normal again

logically speaking,

It's not my first time seeing my parents off to Hong Kong.
This is at least 20th or more time saying Goodbye

The most difficult one was in year 7, seeing the honda red car disappearing in a distance, I knew I would see them again very shortly, but that moment was always uneasy.

The second one, was probably in year 11 when I know they couldnt come to Speech day to support me. Knowing I got to be understanding, I didnt like seeing them leaving.

The most recent one, was year 1 in Uni, not so used to leaving London behind, and going to a strange place.

But then Bath became like a home
London is also my home
yeh, Hong Kong, perhaps, too.

I didnt expect this time was uneasy
it is going to be a long time before I could see them and I wonder, how much would I change by the next time we meet again.

When I left London, I miss it
When I left Bath, I miss it too

May be it does take time for one to enjoy the presence, it's certainly taking my time here


箴 言 Proverbs

4:23

你 要 切 切保 守 你 心 、 勝 過 保 守 一 切 , 因 為 一 生 的 果 效 、 是 由 心 發 出

Be a man

aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii*

women are annoying creatures

I know

it's childish to say so,

but can I be a man pls?

lui yun hoooo marn farn

On the wheels

I realised I have always been so lucky to be a passenger throughout my 20 yrs life time

Bits and pieces, mummy used to take me to school, driving 20mins from Yuen Long to Kowloon Tong.
Daddy, always picking me up/dropping me to school when he came over to London. Those days, were somehow the best quality family time I had in my life. just that few days away from boarding school every year, always left me precious memories.

Listening to my favourite music, sometimes I teased my dad for his driving skills and lack of observation.

Now sitting on the driver seat, made me feel so different. I am in control of everything.

Mum was sitting behind

Been to Bicester for so many times, finally, I made my own way there today.

Have been waited for this day for a long time

Cant wait till the moment to pick Benson up tomorrow from station after work. It was my aim ever since that accidence, to be your driver.

it's gona be such short period of time again, for 4 of us to be together.
Let me take wherever you wana go, Mum, dad, for you have done enough for me already
Then obviously, work ;) I will make sure thats happening too

finally, you two can sit comfortably (erm perhaps I do need a lot more practices so that you two wouldnt worry as much )

Today I looked at her back as she walked away. I did not realise she is so fragile, petite
May be this is ageing
It was a sour feeling arising within myself,
want to treasure these days for she could still see my face so clearly now

How frightening it is then, when I could just appear as a white big block in her eyes

That's...something I cant imagine.

Precious moment is always short and sweet

3 months, not too long, not too short

Met a group of lovely people from fellowship.

Remembering the day I moved into 3rd Avenue no.48, I didnt know the majority of them. 

Now, moving out of this room, what I am gona miss is not just the Bath Starry nights,

not just the shimmering sunlight (occasionally) diffusing across my room

but the ones who you have once shared your heart with.

Will be missing the fact of walking around oldfield park and bumping to friends on the road

Missing the performances on high street on a sunny Sunday

Though, I am already used to the fact of "come and go"

I meet a lot of people in life, they could be just one of the passengers who played a small part in your life frame-work.

Some, they would always stay within your "framework", no matter where you go.

Packing and unpacking, such a regular gestures since living in a boarding school.

It's unexpected. 

Tonight, particularly felt that friends are such amazing gifts. Just a simple smile and hug, I could give everything away.

Winter, thanks for being such amazing partner, always looking out for us, ur card meant a lot to me.

Cyrus, shame just starting to get to know you more in such short time in Jan, tough, sweet and humourous, just loving it being around with you

Chan Sai kit, the happy bean in our group, your massive smile is more encouraging than you ever know

Sally, the journey from heathrow wouldnt be so light-hearted without your presence that morning.

Jennifer, the always happy and mature one, big sis :)

Candy, sweet and caring, japanese buddy

Group 2 you guys are amazing

Need I say more? I moved into the empty room, leaving it as an empty room

I am taking a lot away with me

your encouragements, our memories

Moment is short,

But there are many moments, sweet ones

I am looking forward to be back, with hopefully gaining a lot more in London with me

and not coming back in bare hands.

Will see you all soon again
Last day of packing up
I am gona enjoy a cup of Starbucks Hazulnut Hot Chocolate,
Walk around the city once again before leaving it behind till months after

Time to say bye now

Vice versa

甚麼令懦弱變得神勇，
令挑剔變得包容，
令倔強變得溫柔，
令平庸變得出眾？


又有甚麼令聰明變得愚昧，
令冷靜變得衝動，
令豁達變得小器，
令自主變得盲從？


This debate could have gone on forever, when I havent got work to catch up on

如魚得水?

Heard this from Uncle Brian yesterday when I was working.
He told the following story:
魚對水說：＂你看不到我的眼淚，因為我在水裡。＂水回答說：＂我能感覺到你的眼淚，因為你在我心裡。


When I first heard it, I thought "hmm interesting"
It didnt hit me harder until I thought about it after a few mins


Obviously, you wont be any tears in the water, that's common sense
But It made a connection to me
Because thats one of the reasons I love swimming, and showering if I ever need to cry


What this touches me is that
Fishy THOUGHT "water" wont be able to see her tears
The importance here is not about "seeing" but "feeling"


Water can FEEL her sadness.
I guess when you see someone cry, it's just as simple as fact
Can you actually share the feeling, and be in that person's position?


I could hear the whisper then
We are all like fishy, living in a world we think we know very well.
even breathing, we wouldnt take notice of the greatness behind all these.


We think we were all alone when we are down 
Perhaps, it's not like that.


Say God creates the world, he is everywhere, He is the "water"
We dont take notice because we cant see. Like the fishy.


Most of the time, we are all "blind"
We rely on things we see, yet seldom trying to feel.


If you think you are the fish, believe it or not, God does understand all the pain, all the things you've been through. For he is everywhere, we are surrounded by his presence.
Yes, we cant see, but we can feel?


As I re-read this over again
I have this feeling in mind
Not just I could relate myself to the fish, I dont want to be just a fish
I want to be "water" too, able to share one's feeling, Put them in your heart, walk in their shoes and then


to Love.


Ultimately, love is what we all aim for


It's 心同感受


"Water" is very intelligent, he didnt say he saw the tears, but he said he "feels" it.
Because from Fishy's point of view, it is NOT important for her tears to be seen or not, it's not that matters.
But Fishy deep down must be hoping someone could understand, more than just to be "seen'


Reminded me a lot of gospel stories I read before becoming a Christian.


Including how he healed the many, not just physically, but sorrow.


Jesus knows what we need
Deep down he knows exactly what we are missing out
And he provides everything we need


All we got to do is to believe

Behind all that smiles

For the first time in my life,

I stalked my mum on facebook
I guess I was really too bored with work

Couldnt find much from my dad's profile then clicked into mum's.
Seeing the pictures of her with her students, I finally could visualise the life she was describing during xmas.

Was it because I wasnt interested in knowing her life at all?
I admire her.
Always have, she never stops following her dreams. She always make sure everything is okay with every single one of us in the family. The one bothers to forward lots of what i would call junk mail to spam our inbox of information of healthy diet etc etc

She would ensure dad got perfect ironed shirt for his work,
She concerns about us more than herself.

Perhaps, she thought about us, more than I do.
Perhaps, she stalked me on facebook more than I do
I think I should stalk her more

Dad, oh dad, you always asleep when it comes to skype time. and you always call when I am out!
As I clicked through the pictures, it came to one when he was really young.
I smiled, he was even more handsome than Benson.

How much have you been through dad, reaching the age now
all that hard-work just for us, for Benson and Me.

How much have you two been through, behind all that smiles in the pictures
Would anyone notice, appreciate?

Finally, I clicked Benson's profile.
Seems like he is living a happy life, smiling a lot, being with all the brothers and sisters from SOC Church
You have indeed grown
We both have.

My dear Dai Lo,

I know you have been through a lot too, through all the up and down
You never had enough quality time with mum and dad
They were too young at the time, having to work so hard to keep things going
You have been the tough one gor.
When I have asthma, you were the one sprinting out to get me inhaler
When I for the first time broke down in front of you, you wiped my tears away
Behind all smiley faces, how much have you been through?
I knew it, when I read your testimony
Your life has changed ever since

You changed mine
Mum and Dad changed mine

God brought us together, though we grew up in separate countries
You are my only one brother

Whatever decision you make
I will support you because I know
your faith makes you who you are now

Not that poker face you used to have
But a smiley one :)

From Long K