Moments

How many precious moments does one remember in their lifetime?

and...

how many awful moments does one remember in their lifetime?

People take lots of photos to help them remembering all the happy joyful moments

there are rarely pictures of people experiencing hard time.

Is it people trying to forget or those moments simply not worth remembering.

In reality, those moments stick clearer in your head, the more you wanted to forget about them.

Work and then work, and then late again.
Felt like I am losing time, at least glad to spend a rush hour with the St.Helen's girls.
Apparently, I hadnt changed at all, still being the old-self Sharon,

in their eyes.

But I am not feeling that proud to be the old-self, nor proud of my current state either.
Making silly jokes like the old innocent time, feeling warm, loved and cared.
So this is what people all looking for in their life time, to be loved and cared.

It makes you feel you are important, it makes you feel you wanted to be more devoted.

I sat down by one of those MTR station seats, the girl next to me was crawled up, half unconsciously mourning.
Drunk, I thought she was.

Both trains came round twice, she didnt make a move, nor did I.

I looked at her for awhile. There were people walking by, perhaps gave her a look and carried on walking.
One or two mid-aged men came along and started talking to her.

that's quite dangerous.
I waited there for awhile, hoping someone nice could come along.
Or may be I shouldve done something.

People like me, knows exactly that getting drunk is not so a sensible thing to do
When i look at her, I envy her. yet deep down, perhaps I was laughing at her too.

I envy her, laid down her guards and entering into her own world and there will still be people looking after her.

Laughing at her, just simply how stupid the whole situation look.

I gave myself a cold laugh. What an evil person I am.
showing a sign of compassion?

the train heading to central soon arrived again, she seemed to be alright to have 2 women looking after her. I walked on to the train, still looking at her from a distance.

since when , for a short while, perhaps I am looking for that flash of freedom.

But no, waking up from this is more painful.
meeting someone drunk when you are sober is quite a painful thing.

You see their pain, but they dont see yours.

I know my home, is handling all my burdens over to God. My ultimate home.

I know where I belong to
but I just cant grab it tight, and losing it all.